Canada Day important in Whatcom County

(Note: This is my column for the July 1 newspaper. Blog readers get it first.)

Canada celebrates 400 years in existence today and its 141st anniversary of Confederation with the annual Canada Day celebration.
2008 is the 400th anniversary of the founding of Quebec City, which Canadian officials now recognize as the beginning of the country. It wasn’t until 1867 until the country became an official separate entity within the British Empire with the passage of the British North America Act.

Why do I tell you this? Because I think it’s important we know and understand the nation just to the north of our community.

In Whatcom County we know we are connected to Canada moreso than most other places in the United States. We see the British Columbia license plates on our roads and parked at our shops and restaurants. We know that the Canadian exchange rate effects how well our local economy performs.

But I would argue the connection is much deeper than economics. It is important that there are so many Canadian companies doing business and employing Whatcom County residents here. But it is equally important that Canadian culture and ways of thinking permeate through our ways of life and our families and our relationships.

Who among us doesn’t know a couple where one person is American and the other Canadian?

Who among us doesn’t have Canadian ex-pats living in our neighborhoods?

Who among us doesn’t have access to Canadian television and radio and other media that make the perspectives we hear different from those of people in Seattle and most other places in the United States.

In many real ways, such as our love for the outdoors, appreciation of environment and willingness to be rained on a lot, we are more like the citizens of British Columbia than we are like people in New York City or Miami. As they are more like us than they are like people in Toronto and Montreal.

So as Canadians celebrate their national heritage today, I say we join them — not as a replacement of our own national celebration coming Friday, but as a way to respect people around us and to learn from everyone who lives in our community. After all, at least part of our local heritage is part to what they celebrate.

1) Genuine Scooter company – I realize that they’re having an amazing year and can’t keep up with demand but give me a break! Not to bore anyone with details, but if by chance Trey Duren is looking at this somehow, please try to remember who the customer is here next time you try to scold me a*****e!

2) Women who would even consider voting for Mcain – Ladies, please just look at his senatorial voting record on womens issues, the way that he abandoned his first wife for not being “pretty” anymore after the debilitating car wreck, and of course the public comments he’s made about his current wife (the super rich one half his age that he left the first one for). Frankly, anyone who is so unaware of how the modern world works deserves everything that he says being posted on youtube.

3) My Blackberry – Don’t get me wrong, it’s a really cool and useful tool, but man was it nice to be out of the loop in the Canadian wilderness this weekend. Of course it lit up like a Christmas tree at the first sign of service this morning.

4) People who refuse to believe in science – I just don’t understand what drives groups of people to want to be stupid. I guess it doesn’t bother me until I realize that their kids are becoming stupid too. Who’s going to be in charge when I’m old? Potentially some one who ends the world out of arrogance and religious zealotry. No thank you! Pay the teachers and let them do their jobs.

5) Gas prices – yeah I know, it’s bringing a lot of people to Chispa. But it really makes selling these machines a lot more difficult. The majority of people coming through now have absolutely no idea what they’re looking at, so quality means nothing. The worst part is that most don’t even consider that they are literally entrusting their lives to whatever machine they purchase. I don’t know about anyone else, but I would never put myself in any dangerous situation, such as traffic, with the cheapest machine I could find. Let’s face it, if gas prices are actually the driving force, then invest in something well built and pay for it with the savings gained by 60 + miles per gallon and leaving the guzzler at home.

I guess that’s enough complaining for now. Hopefully it released my ability to start writing again.

One of the disadvantages of living in the northwest is the inordinate amount of rain. Consequently, the floors of our home are often covered with mud and shoes are everywhere. As the MAN of the house, I knew that something had to be done. I needed a plan so I went………… shopping on the internet.

After six or eight exhausting minutes of trying to find a decent looking shoe rack online, I ran across a picture of a really great idea. I shamelessly stole this idea from someone named Megan who had posted it on notmartha.org.

With my trusty battery operated screwdriver by my side and a level, I have now beat the drums in the proverbial forest by building a really cool looking shoe rack. It consists of a shelf with another shelf of half the depth suspended above it, the shoes actually seem to float on the wall. It looks nice and is easy to clean under. Altogether I put up three, two by the front door and one by the back for flip flops.

I would tell more of the heroics, but I must now drink beer and kill something to eat (salads are alive, right?)

There was magician on a cruise ship, and he was really good.

He was performing the highlight of his show when a parrot walked onstage and squawked, ”It’s in his sleeve!”

The magician chased the bird away.

The next day the magician was performing his highlight again (in front of a smaller audience) when the parrot walked onstage and declared, ”It’s in his pocket!”

The next day, as he was performing the highlight, he saw the parrot in the crowd. But before the parrot could ruin the magic trick, the boat crashed into a rock and sank.

The magician was lucky enough to find a board to hang on to. On the other end of the board was the parrot.

They stared at each other for three full days, neither of them saying anything, when suddenly the parrot said, ”I give up, what’d you do with the ship?’

Now, one may wonder why this is weighing so heavy that I felt the need to write it. The reality is that I have to grow my sales territory a minimum of 10% per period  over the next  years.  That may not seem like much, but rather than being in a bustling city, I’m in a really weird little farming town on the BC border.  People here are loyal, and my competition has been here a long time.  To be honest, I’m really getting tired of the doors slamming in my face.  I’m starting to question if this is the right direction.  I have a commitment to at least 5 years with this company, but I don’t know if I’ve got the stomach for it.

No need to think too hard on this, just have to keep getting kicked until I can truly stand up.

His father looks up, thoughtfully, and then says, “I’ll demonstrate. Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then go ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then come back and tell me what you’ve learned.”

The kid is puzzled, but decides to ask his mother. “Mom, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Robert Redford?”

“Don’t tell your father, but, yes, I would.”

He then goes to his sister’s room. “Sis, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Brad Pitt?”

She replies, “Omigod! Definitely!”

The kid goes back to his father. “Dad, I think I’ve figured it out.Potentially, we are sitting on two million bucks, but in reality, we are living with two sluts.”

I felt it was an appropriate touch to my overall theme. I may get the hang of this blog eventually.